I'm still alive!

Wow! It has been forever since I have posted on this blog. I am not promising that I will continue to post regularly though I can think of plenty of things I would love to write about. I just want to say that I  love reading other people's blogs. It is so encouraging to read about how God is making himself known in people's lives. Hunter Beless wrote recently about waiting. It's really funny she wrote that because I am in a season of waiting on God. Waiting for His presence to be understood in a deeper level than I ever imagined, for greater revelations of His love than ever before. Waiting as he sanctifies me from selfishness, pride, self-awareness, overthinkingness, doubtful heartedness...I am so encouraged that He does not leave us as we are.

 It's just that lately, I can't seem to just let God take control. I pray and ask for help then I just keep on trying to "think my way through"... try to make myself grasp the gospel more fully, love others more sincerely, etc. But "apart from God, we can do nothing". Today in Chapel, Mrs. Castleman gave part of her testimony, how God literally surprised her by Grace. She wasn't even expecting him to come through, but He DID. I try so hard to seek God and get discouraged at the lack of response I feel like I'm getting. I even got a little upset upon hearing her testimony because I think God owes it to me to show up in a massive way. But honestly, it's by His grace alone. I pray and trust this season of waiting will leave me in utter, joyous, dependence of His Grace. He who began the work will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. Instead of questioning God's character and promises in this season of waiting, I pray God gives me faith to grow in my faith, faith that He has not forsaken me.

Tonight I was truly encouraged when a friend passed by my open door and we ended up talking about how we REALLY are. It was so refreshing when she could speak truth into me and I could genuinely encourage her. I KNOW that doesn't come from me after seeing how selfish I was today. So praise God for the glimpses of His gracious work in our lives.

Just this morning, I listened to John Piper http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/eternal-life-has-appeared-in-christas he talked about fellowship among believers. Talking with my friend tonight was a refreshing example of what 1 John talks about. The whole point of fellowship with believers is experiencing God in others! In Kelsey tonight, I saw genuine care, empathy, encouragement, loyalty, and joy. Thank you Jesus for that time :)
Just wanted to post some things that have been on my heart...so much I didn't even mention!

"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor". Isaiah 61:3

Just a thought...

I like this moment. I am with a friend in the JBU honors house. No. I am not in the honors program, but she is. So that is why I am here. We have been sitting here, procrastinating...editing our blog designs. The funny thing is that I wasn't even going to write anything. I was just content to make the blog pretty and sign out. Then Annee suggested that I write about changing the design, so that is what I am sort of doing. I just had the thought: I want to be more honest with myself, and I want to live life in a more real way. Do you know what I mean? I want to really enjoy the good things God has made. I want to indulge in those rich moments where God speaks a intimate word. And in those hard moments where life just stinks, I want to embrace it all the same. I want to stop shying away from the difficult and the not-so-fun moments of life. Contentment in every season. God even says that contentment with godliness is great gain. Hmm.. I am so peaceful right now. Just enjoying the moment. I was also thinking...how do we experience God even in the seemingly small moments of our lives? In my Old Testament class, I am learning more than ever before about the Israelites-God's chosen people. Why He chose them, and me, and all of His children for that matter is beyond me. They doubt God, run from Him, blame Him, disobey Him and get mad at His loving, faithful discipline that brings them back to Himself. Wow. My life looks a lot like the Israelites. What I was getting to is that God faithfully revealed to them that He was indeed Yahweh-the Ever Present One. God delights in us. He desires to be experienced in the griminess of life, in the small moments, in the joyful celebrations, in our failures. God, I want to know you more in this way. It is encouraging that God is the one who built trust in His people. Whew! He is building trust, love, and the desire for Him in me even now. I don't always see it, but He is always at work. He loves me! Oh, how I want that to sink in to the depths of my soul!
I really enjoyed writing this...just being transparent :)

Life these days

Oh my goodness! So I am absolutely loving life at JBU! I don't even know where to begin! God has blessed me with some sweet friends. My roommate, Erynn is totally amazing and Alicia and Kaitlin (across the hall from us) are such sweeties! We are pretty much going to be best friends for life we've decided. And it's great because Kaitlin wants to adopt 7 kids. I want to have 7 kids, Alicia wants a lot of kids, and Erynn wants at least 4. We will have many fun college friend reunions :) But that's a long way off. Focusing more on the here and now for a moment: I have been learning so much lately. Everything is so different, and I'm constantly getting used to the new college way of life.
What are some examples you ask?
Here are a few:
1) Being around girls 24/7! Here at Mayfield, we have a blast. We had a paint war the other day, a "ring-down" last night, many wonderful conversations in the hallways, a few SDP ( Secret Dance Parties...there is a 2 min. dance limit here at JBU..Mr. John Brown didn't really approve dancing for fun!), listening to Alicia's favorite Mexican music (She's obsessed!), and doing life with the girls around here. It truly is a blessing to be here! I often feel like I'm at Pine Cove because of the sweet community and intentionality of all these girls! Thank you God for putting me here!
2) Standing awkwardly in the food line in the car when you don't know anyone next to you. Why does this freak us out? I mean seriously, the other day I thought I was going to have a heart attack because I didn't know where my friends were sitting! It's gotten a little better since then though.
3) Going to class for a max of 3 hours a day and having to be responsible  to take care of the endless list of homework. Talk about syllabus shock! The first few days I was totally over my head, but I've seen some positive change since then. I like to knock out my homework so I can have my evenings open for fun friend time!
4)The dilemma of figuring out what to do for fun here in little ole Siloam Springs- This place..like I just said..is tiny! There aren't really that many good places to eat. A few Mexican restaurants, Subway, Quiznos, Brom's, and we have a Walmart and a Lowes. The main places I love are the adorable coffee shops down town:Cafe on Broadway and Pour John's. Playing frisbee, volleyball, MadGab, and driving around with Taylor Swift blasting really loud have been some highlights for sure.
5) Using community showers. This hasn't been bad considering the fact that the bathroom is next door to our room. They are very clean, but you have to be on your guard because every time a toilet flushes, the hot water turns extra hot. You must yell " Hot Water!!! " give your sistas a heads up :) I haven't gotten scalded yet, and I hope it stays this way!
6) Reading, reading, reading! I didn't know college involved so much reading! This takes some getting used to especially since a lot of it is on the computer. I am looking forward to some art classes with projects!

Well these are some of the things that have been going on lately. I'm just so blessed to be here. I've never attended a Christian school before, so this is truly an amazing experience. I am SO glad my parents are enabling me to go here!  My professors genuinely care for each student. They want to get to know us and they even pray for us in class! I've heard of Christian colleges, but JBU is completely Christ Centered. You can't miss it even if you wanted to which is what is so amazing to me. We are encouraged so much here. When times of doubt and hard trials hit, we are encouraged to wrestle through it with God just like Jacob wrestled with God. He is faithful. I love this article by Pollard, JBU's president.   file://localhost/Users/hrm019/Desktop/Gateway/Pollard.pages

This is our room. We  call it the "Tree House" because of the  amazing view we have. 

Our very first picture together AND in front of our new home!

      

Yes. This is Ben Rector! 

Bonhoeffer- Agent of Grace

Yesterday I watched this incredible movie about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a Christian minister who lives in Germany and ends up working for an undercover group trying to assassinate Hitler. Bonhoeffer's life inspires me so much. All I really know about him is from this movie, but I'm looking forward to reading about him more in the future. Every time the Nazis gave him the chance to work for them and be safe, he refused. Through this radical way of living and standing up for the gospel even when it literally hurt, Bonhoeffer lived a life that had eternal purpose. Many times in the movie, it was made clear that he was looking forward to heaven. This life just isn't where it ends. I won't give it all away, but let's just say he shocked many a Nazi when he refused their offers of earthly comfort. He courageously accepted his fate at the end, looking forward to seeing God face to face. I found myself in tears multiple times, praising God for the gospel. It's worth dying for. This world just isn't it.  :)

Just a few words...

I'm so excited that I have my very own blog! I guess I've always wanted one so I could make it all cute and keep my close friends posted on the big events in my life. I know this will not be an outstanding blog that everyone is going to want to read, but it's not meant to be that. As I dive into the next phase of life at John Brown University, I know things will come up that are worth telling people about, so that is why I have this. As I learn more about Graphic Design, I'm sure I will change my profile background multiple times :)
Well, I have nine days until leaving for college, so I will be packing up, saying my goodbye's and preparing to move to a new place with new people and new everything! I praise God for all he has done in my life and all he is going to do these next four years. It will be an exciting journey!
My mom and I came up with the name "The Rambling Rose" because a) it has my middle name in it and b) this blog will consist of my thoughts as they come..no particular order to it. So it's the perfect name!